Good news brings shopping envy!

It's been a struggle since my husband lost his job. Talk about motivation not to spend....the thought of losing your house and vehicle will make you stop spending in a heartbeat! I really thought I needed to become a vegetarian or go on beans and rice diet or something. We didn't need to make such a drastic change however.

My mother's spending habits is what saved us. I do not condone these habits, but they sure saved us. How? Well, we had several very successful garage sales from the stuff stockpiled in her garage. I wish I would have kept track of how much we took in. It was thousands of dollars. She graciously offered us all the profits we made. In the three months my husband was unemployed, we never missed paying a bill. I began babysitting, but that was only $170 per week. Thanks MOM!

While I am so glad she had this for us to fall back on, I am highly motivated to stop needless buying. I hope to get her garage cleaned out and convince her to stop buying!

My husband decided to take a job working at Lowe's. The pay is considerably less than we are accustomed to. At first I was disappointed. Now I am looking at it from a new perspective. Maybe he doesn't need to make more, because I can spend less and still be happy.

However, today, when I went to pick him up (living with one car now), I saw loads of women going into and out of the plant department. I was envious, but resisted. I wondered secretly if they were trying to fill a void in their lives with their shopping habit. I know now, that I was using shopping to avoid things in my life. It also just plain made me feel good. I am growing and spending less. I hope to stop the "shop therapy" legacy with me. I do not want to set this bad example for my girls.

Well, we are 4 days into not having an income. I am wrestling with how much to cut from our food purchases. We eat a lot of fresh food and organic food. Of course, this is the most expensive food. We do have a freezer full of food that will carry us for a while. I have already outlawed all junk food. That will help a little. I can think of little else that will help. My husband is a meat lover and would go nuts if I cut that out. I think he is in for a rude awakening. Beans and rice, here we come!

I found myself at Wal-Mart, a store I usually don't shop. I had gone to take some recycling to their parking lot bins. I went in because I needed a few things for a dish I promised to make for Zoe's school's teacher appreciation lunch (bad timing). Here I am struggling with all this emotional stress...wondering if we will be able to keep our house and so forth. Now I have to cook for other people. UGH! Anyway...as I was walking around, I thought, I am already the biggest cheapskate on the planet. How can I live any cheaper. The first way would be to change our eating habits. I ran the idea by my husband. He said, "we are not changing the way we eat!" I was happy to hear his commitment to our healthy habits, but couldn't help but worry.

The other thing I am struggling with is the need to medicate myself with "treats." I have been hitting the Easter candy pretty hard. Every time I am out driving, I want an iced coffee. I have this idea it will make me feel better. The first few days I was good and refrained. I came home and made a Chai Tea Latte instead or good old Aldi coffee and french vanilla creamer (no more creamer after this one is empty). Today, I had to go to my husbands former employer and pick up his dry cleaning. After I left, I couldn't resist the temptation to stop at McDonald's for a $2.27 cup of Carmel iced coffee. Why in the hell does food and drink make us feel good when we are stressed or angry etc.? I felt horrible driving around drinking this. I felt like I had to ditch the evidence before I got home. I didn't, but I was thinking I needed to cover up my purchase. I rationalized the purchase by saying to myself, "I used my birthday money! Money my mom and dad told me I had to spend on myself."

I feel like I am going crazy.

All the skills practiced are now a necessity!

No spending just became necessity! We were a one income family, now we are a no income family. My husband came home from work this morning at 8:15. It was unusual, but not alarming. I said a simple "what's up?" That's when I found out he was let go from his job. I was surprised at my calm, peaceful reaction. I was able to offer him some comfort and not completely freak out!

I truly believe we will be okay. We don't have the 6 months salary saved up and ready, like the experts recommend. However, I think we will manage. Luckily, I have been practicing tactics that would be a complete shock to most for almost 4 months now. I have managed to not buy anything in four months. The kids are used to that. They won't resent their dad for that, they will just continue to resent me!

When interviewed for a recession focused TV piece, I said something along the lines that this would prepare us for any unseen trials. Now the trial is here. If you are the praying type, please pray that my husband finds a suitable job soon!

Thanks,
Bliss

The lost art of bartering

My daughter wanted to start piano lessons. I know this isn't a tangible product that would be entering my home. I still felt the need to eliminate the expense. Actually, if I couldn't get it for free, I couldn't afford it.

I found someone that would allow me to barter for lessons. She teaches piano and I iron her husbands shirts while she is giving the lesson. Equal time spent for both of us. I guess she would rather teach piano than iron shirts. Can't blame her.

I don't iron any clothes at home. The sacrifices I make for my children!

My goodness...it's birthday party season!

Well, with one kids party under my belt, now I am challenged to two more within the next two weeks.

The one we attended on Saturday, went very well. Our recycled gifts were very well received. We gave the birthday girl some gently used dress-up clothes that no longer fit my girls. I also threw in a Learning Resources toy that I had purchased, new in the box from Goodwill, prior to my year without buying.

I may have to get a little more creative with all these parties coming up. I just had an idea...I could give the birthday girls a gift certificate for a special day with my daughter. Take the two of them someplace special and treat them to ice cream or a stop at a fancy bakery. I'm not sure I will try that. Most of the kids probably wouldn't get the concept. Back to the drawing board.

I do have a few more items stock piled in the closet. I don't know if it will last all year however.

Another small dilema

Well, we just received a birthday party invitation. Both of my children are thrilled and definitely want to attend the party. The dilema lies in the expected gift. Now, I know the mother of this child doesn't care if we bring a gift or not. She is following my year without buying anything.

With past parties, I would go out with the girls and let them choose something to give to the birthday child. This would lead to the inevitable whining for me to buy them something too. Not that I ever caved to the pressure, but it was still painful! Then of course there is the agonizing decision of how to package the gift. Which pretty bow to pick, which bag....all of this used to take place at the dollar store granted. I could never have paid retail for that crap. So that's a minimum of two store visits.

This is another situation that people often go overboard. I really think the kids would just be happy to be together and play. Of course the cake and ice cream would be a big bonus. I think feeling like the center of attention for a whole day, could be gift enough. If a child could possibly be raised in an environment where he didn't know about birthday gifts, would he still be happy on his birthday without receiving any gifts? I think so. As long as the people in his life make him feel special.

So what am I going to do? I know I will have the kids make cards. That's not frowned upon generally. I have plenty of paintings my kids have done. Hopefully, I can convince them to part with one to use for gift wrap. If not, I'll have them create an original with this intent. We also have a stash of pretty bags and bows that I always save to reuse. I am considering giving some gently used items. I have been saving a "dress up" outfit that no longer fits my girls. I think it will be perfect.

What do you think? Please weigh in on the subject.

Gotta Have It NOW!

The gotta have it now mentality rarely leads a person to make good choices. This is true in so many aspects of life, and it’s certainly true in personal finance.

If one takes the time to really think through a purchase, it becomes less pressing, and can often be avoided altogether.

But when something is needed RIGHT NOW, that’s when the budget flies out the window and money gets wasted.

Good questions to ask yourself when making a purchase are:

Is this something I really need to own?

Do I already own something that will do the trick?

Can I borrow this from family/friend/neighbor?

What happens if I don’t buy this?

Is there a downside to putting off this purchase?

By employing your patient side, it’s easier to practice conscious frugality.

Writen by: Katy Wolk-Stanley

So well said, I couldn't resist posting it here. I am not in any frame of mind to write something tonight.